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I feel slightly....angry? - Distracted, disproportionate and deluded. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
xforeverfadingx

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I feel slightly....angry? [May. 2nd, 2009|10:12 pm]
xforeverfadingx
Well, well, LJ.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm pretty mired in the whole teen-angst thing still, since I seem to be sitting wringing my (metaphorical) hands in desperation and wondering why everything feels like it's falling apart.

Right now I don't feel entirely great, in fact I feel like nothing about me is good enough, and that I'm a massive failure. I'm probably going to end up with an average degree (despite how hard I've felt I've worked), I'm merely average at things. And not even that in a lot of cases.

Secondly, amongst a group of people we have been hanging out with regularly, there is someone who I feel undermines all that I am quite often. Every negative comment is always accompany by a cutesy-voiced giggle or something. Because I'm not pristine enough and I'm oversensitive no doubt. Perhaps I am, and I really should just stop reading so much into everything. I am constantly convinced though that everyone dislikes me, and the hanging out with me is merely a pretense based on sympathy. God, what is wrong with me?

I miss a lot of decent people. Saw a few friends tonight I hadn't seen in a few weeks and I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed their company. I miss K. I miss my sisters. I feel like maybe I've alienated a lot of people - I'm gonna have to make the effort to sort things out.

I can't wait til this year is over.
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